If this is a medical emergency, call 911 or your parent’s doctor.  In a crisis discharge? Jump to the fast version →
Step 5 · Choose the Right Place

The red flags a tour will never point out — and the questions that surface them.

Most families tour with their eyes. This checklist gives you a list: a quick read on the level of care your parent actually needs, the questions worth asking, the 10 red flags to watch for, and a side-by-side score for up to three communities. Built to use on your phone — on a calm tour, or in the 48–72 hours after a hospital discharge when you have to choose fast.

“We don’t own or operate any of these communities, and no facility pays to be recommended here. That means this checklist can tell you to walk away — which is the one thing a tour brochure never will.”

First — before you tour

What level of care does your parent actually need?

Touring before you know this is like shopping for a car before you know how many people you’re carrying — you can fall in love with the wrong thing. Mark where things stand today. Nothing here is saved or sent anywhere.

Daily taskIndependentlyNeeds some helpCan’t manage safely
Bathing
Dressing
Eating
Medication
Mobility
Managing money & decisions
If memory, confusion, or judgment is part of what you’re seeing, a geriatrician’s read before any housing decision changes everything that comes next — the right level of care, and sometimes whether a move is the answer at all. See who to call first → (This tool can’t diagnose anything — it just points you to the right first call.)
On the tour — ask these

Ten questions that get past the brochure

A good community answers these plainly. Hesitation, vagueness, or “we’ll get back to you” on the money questions is itself information. Check each one off as you ask it.

Care & staffing
Money — the evasive zone
Safety & licensing
Daily life
Walk the building — watch for these

The 10 red flags

These are the things a tour is arranged to keep you from noticing. Check any you see. They travel with you to the next building, too — the same list works for all three.

Not every red flag means “walk away” — but each one is a question that deserves a straight answer. Two or more unanswered is a pattern.
↓ Download the printable Red Flags checklist (PDF)
After the tours — compare

Score up to three communities side by side

Name each community, then mark the good signs and the red flags for each. The tool tallies and tells you where to start — without pretending an hour-long tour is the whole story.

Score (good − flags)

A clean score on a one-hour tour isn’t a guarantee. Best practice: a second, unannounced visit — at a meal or in the evening — before you sign anything.

Take it with you

Email yourself this comparison, or save it as a PDF to share with the family. Everything is composed right here on your device — nothing is stored or sent to us.

Nothing you type here is saved or sent anywhere. The email is composed on your own device.

Wherever this leaves you, there’s a next step

Need to understand what it all costs?

What senior care actually costs, what Medicare won’t cover, and how the home fits in.

Understand the costs →
Not sure it’s even time yet?

A calm, non-diagnostic read on whether your parent may need more support.

Take the “Is It Time?” check →
This is a crisis move.

The first 72 hours, and who to call first when there’s no time to plan.

Go to the Crisis Path →
Want the full version?

All 23 tour questions, the memory-care deep-dive, and waiting-list guidance — plus the system delivered to your inbox.

Get the full Step 5 guide →
Touring in the Houston area and want a hand from someone who knows it? Help with the Home →

Common questions about touring assisted living

What are the biggest red flags when touring an assisted living facility?

The ones a tour is arranged to hide: lingering odors, call lights ringing unanswered, residents left unkempt or withdrawn, staff who talk over residents instead of to them, safety hazards, a licensing report that’s hard to get, high-pressure sales, evasive answers on cost, vague memory-care specifics, and a staged tour where you can’t drop in or meet residents. One isn’t a verdict — two or more unanswered is a pattern.

What questions should I ask on an assisted living tour?

Ask the staff-to-resident ratio on day shift and overnight, whether a licensed nurse is on-site 24/7, and whether care scales up here or forces a move-out later. On money: the all-in monthly cost for your parent’s assessed level, in writing, and how often rates have risen. On safety: ask to see the most recent state inspection report and the call-light response standard.

How long does an assisted living tour take?

Most tours run about 45 to 60 minutes — longer if you ask the questions that matter. But one tour is rarely enough. The strongest practice is a second, unannounced visit at a mealtime or in the evening, when staffing is thinnest and the day hasn’t been staged for you.

How fast do you have to choose after a hospital discharge?

Placement after a discharge often happens within 48 to 72 hours. Even on that timeline you can cover the essentials: confirm the level of care your parent actually needs, get the all-in cost in writing, and walk the building for red flags before signing. The hospital social worker is your most underused resource — start there.

This is informational guidance, not legal, medical, or financial advice. The right professional matters — and every section of this system tells you who that is. Senior Move Roadmap is independent and does not own, operate, or accept payment from any senior living community.